The world health organization declared the covid-19 pandemic one year ago. Millions of separating spouses have been strained within a pandemic pressure cooker since that time. For separated spouses, the pandemic caused a shift in the battlefield from the courtroom doors to navigating domestic crisis behind closed doors. The covid-19 pandemic profoundly affected families and children involved in Ontario’s family justice system and dramatically impacted family justice professionals.
FAMILY LAW JUSTICE SYSTEM
The family law justice system was subject to virtual court attendances, whether and when matters may be called by the court and having the technological means to participate in court. The notices to the profession and directions from the court were being released on a weekly and at times daily basis. Essentially, a system already struggling with a lack of resources was available only for the most urgent of issues. The number of self-represented litigants were markedly reduced and they either sought recourse from the family court with the assistance of counsel or not at all.
Spouses with ongoing family law matters had exerted a great deal of energy and money up to that point and some were operating on fumes. When a sudden, and full stop for family law cases. Restrictions from lockdowns, stay at home and public health orders confined spouses to their homes and triggered new arguments between them. Spouses argued about the necessary precautions for their children and whether their children should participate in activities and in-person or virtual schooling.
The result, spouses were left to endure continued strife in their family, choosing whether to separate, and if they had already separated, no known recourse to conclude their family law matters. For spouses in the vulnerable sector of the community without financial support from the other spouse and with the potential prospects of losing work, the situation was unbearable. Spouses continued to live under the same roof for fear and inability of moving on.
HIGH CONFLICT AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: POWER AND CONTROL STRUGGLE
The strategy to stay at home now is about managing emotions and finding the ability to co-exist. The problem is the significant increase in “high conflict” families during the pandemic. The approach to resolving conflict has become paramount and possibly more important than pre-covid-19 outbreak. Spouses are now attempting to manage the emotional and psychological conflict between them.
INCREASED EMPHASIS ON ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION AND NEGOTIATIONS
There are five distinct types of negotiation approaches which are competing, collaborating, compromising, accommodating, and avoiding.
In certain of negotiation styles, for example, the competing style, the spouse formulates a position focused on what they want. It is about them, and them alone. Spouses build a campaign to pursue their outcome goals. What is important to them, and no consideration for the other spouse. It is the other spouse’s fault for the marriage or relationship breakdown. Spouses with this vindicative and win at all costs approach will do what is necessary to achieve their outcome goals. The motivation is to “win” or defeat the other spouse. Children may be involved in these situations and it is deplorable on how people treat and what they say about each other.
In other of negotiation styles, for example, the collaborating style, the spouse focuses on the outcome of the negotiations and are willing to compromise and forgo the pursuit of the rights and entitlements with an emphasis on the post-separation relationship. During the negotiations it is sometimes helpful to make compromises on small issues first, and take the lead demonstrating
reasonableness. This strategy creates trust and fosters collaboration for the main and more integral issues. To avoid triggering the other person, be mindful of how you present your compromise, show willingness to agree with their ask first, and then make your counter-ask. For example, “I will pay the support you want if I can have the cottage,” instead of, “first you need to agree to give me the cottage before I will pay the support you want.”
Often the most forceful personalities have prevailed over more vulnerable persons, and at times this has led to irrational compromises. Spouses who approach negotiations from an emotional basis may compromise their ability to think and reason to ultimate goals and desired outcomes. It is always beneficial to consult and even retain a lawyer who practices exclusively in family law. An experienced family law lawyer can make recommendations on how to balance the spouse’s entitlements and their respective intentions in the negotiations, while residing with your spouse. The family law lawyer will be able to discuss, analyze and predict situations to your benefit without emotionally clouded decisions.
Often the most forceful personalities have prevailed over more vulnerable persons, and at times this has led to irrational compromises. Spouses who approach negotiations from an emotional basis may compromise their ability to think and reason to ultimate goals and desired outcomes. It is always beneficial to consult and even retain a lawyer who practices exclusively in family law. An experienced family law lawyer can make recommendations on how to balance the spouse’s entitlements and their respective intentions in the negotiations, while residing with your spouse. The family law lawyer will be able to discuss, analyze and predict situations to your benefit without emotionally clouded decisions.
Mark a. Simpson is founder of M A S ’ L A W and CEO of Simpson Law Professional Corporation. He has exclusively practiced family law for sixteen years. He wishes to acknowledge his staff for assistance on preparing this blog article.
Interested in consulting with Mr. Simpson?
Contact his office by email at MAINRECEPTION@MASLAW.CA or call 519-645-1200